6 Months Without Social Media
If you’ve been thinking about quitting social media but can’t quite seem to take the leap, I know the feeling. It took me 7 months to finally decide to quit, but once I did, a wave of relief washed over me!
It’s now been 6 months since I quit Facebook and Instagram and here’s my insight into what it’s been like.
The lead up
In early 2022 I watched the documentary The Social Dilemma, which confirmed a lot of what I already feared about social media, that it’s addictive, manipulative, controlling and distracting. It’s designed in a way to keep its users on the platforms for as long as possible, so that the users make the platform owners/shareholders more and more money.
Overtime, I’d noticed the number of ads and suggested posts increase more and more, and the number of posts by people I actually knew, followed and/or wanted to hear from become fewer and farer between. Ah I remember the good old days before Instagram even had ads. Blisssss!
Anyway, I knew about the negative impacts and yet I was still using it, because I was addicted.
I was on the fence
After watching the documentary my relationship towards social media changed. I thought about leaving and I even recorded a podcast episode back in April 2022 about it: Should I Quit Social Media???. I felt torn, but I stuck around because I thought I ‘had to’ have a presence on there, especially for my coaching business.
I had fear of missing out and when I asked myself what would happen if I did leave, the words “you’ll become irrelevant” surfaced from within me. I was afraid I’d be forgotten about. It seemed so silly, yet it’s how I felt and this truth saddened me. I’d somehow connected my self-image on social media to my own self-worth. Realising this sad but true reality motivated me to take a step back.
Taking a break
I got to a point where spending time on social media apps, more often than not, left me feeling overstimulated and drained, so taking a break off social media for a few months wasn’t hard to do. I wasn’t strict on a set time frame, I just wanted to try to break my habit and prove to myself that I was stronger than my addiction.
At this stage I wasn’t ready to delete the app off my phone, so each day I used my willpower (a lot of it) not to open Instagram. I’d already deleted the Facebook app off my phone a while ago and I don’t use TikTok or other platforms. Overtime, I broke the habit of unconsciously opening Instagram, just because it was there.
The result
What happened during my brief break from social media? I found myself transported back to a simpler, more wholesome way of living and being, similar to my childhood, the days before the internet and mobile phones, days when I felt creative, alive, present, in awe of nature and life, and more carefree.
Whilst being on my social media break, I read 7 books in one month, I wrote handwritten letters to friends, started learning French, drew, painted, played piano, baked, spent more time in nature, and got back into my meditation practice.
I started doing more of the things that I truly love, things that fulfil my soul and bring me joy, and as a result I became happier, more creative and overall more fulfilled without social media. Needless to say, I loved it.
The relapse
When I took this time ‘away’, I hadn’t made the conscious decision to quit permanently. I thought I was just taking a break. So after my time offline, I came back to social media for about a month, but when I returned, something had shifted.
I was there, but I didn’t really want to be on there… and yet most days I still managed to reach the 45 minute daily time limit reminder I’d set for myself. I wasn’t sitting there scrolling for 45 minutes consecutively, but it didn’t take much for 45 minutes to add up through out the day.
It’s so easy to do. You check Insta 5 times a day, each for 9 minutes. Or you check 9 times a day, each for 5 minutes. Based on my 45 min per day usage, this adds up to 273 hours per year. That’s over 1.5 weeks a year scrolling and staring at a screen. Sure you can try your best to be intentional with your usage, but once your start scrolling, it’s so hard to stop and the thing I disliked most was the ads and suggested posts that you don’t have any control over.
The decision
After seven long months of deliberation, I finally made the decision to permanently retire from social media, because having a presence there, just because I felt I ‘had to’ or ‘should’, wasn’t a good enough reason to stay.
I decided to walk away for good because the results of my brief hiatus spoke for themselves.
But what helped me with my FOMO and fear of becoming irrelevant was an EFT session I had with a friend and previous client of mine, Erin Laishley, who’s an amazing EFT Practitioner. It was the day after our session that I actually quit.
Weighing up the pros and cons
I’ve met and connected with beautiful people through social media, to which I’m immensely grateful for. I’ve also been blessed to work with clients in QLD, Tasmania, Europe and USA thanks to Instagram, which is so mind blowing. It’s the people and genuine connections that made it hard for me to leave. I didn’t want to leave the people, just the algorithms that were dictating what I was seeing, ie every third post was a suggested post or advertisement.
There are so many benefits to using social media, but for me personally, in this stage of life, when I weighed up the pros and cons, the cons out-weight the pros. Because most people within my generation have social media, it’s one of those things we don’t second guess, we just think everyone else is doing it and that’s what you do, right?
I belong to one of the last generations to know what life was like before the internet, mobile phones and social media existed. For that I am so grateful. I’ve had the internet in my life for about 23 years, mobile phones and social media for a few years less, and I often think about how fast it’s progressed in that time. I can’t help but wonder how the use of social media is really impacting us, and how our physical and mental health, wellbeing, self-esteem, relationships, connections and social skills will be effected in the long term?
Why I left?
I chose to say goodbye because I realised that I was addicted and allowing Instagram to control my life.
I left to improve my own health and wellbeing.
I did it to utilise my precious time of this Earth more intentionally.
I did it to channel my time and energy back into the things that matter more to me.
I did it because when I’m an elderly woman, I want to look back on my life with pride and joy, knowing that I was actually present in my own life, not caught up comparing my life to the highlight reels of others.
I don’t want to regret letting life pass me by because I was too busy staring at a screen and consumed by what others are doing and creating, rather than creating things myself.
I chose to follow that subtle niggle within me that was nudging me towards greater joy, fulfilment and creativity.
6 months social media free
When I’ve mentioned to people that I’m not on social media, the response I often hear is “you’re not missing much”, and I agree. There’s a lot of content and information that I’m no longer exposed to, but I don’t believe I’m missing out on high quality / high value information. It’s the same with the news. I don’t watch or read the news, because I don’t think it adds value to my life. If there’s something I need to know, I hear about it from friends and family.
One thing I do notice now that I’m not reaching to check socials every spare second, is how much other people do it, and how disconnecting it is. Perhaps because my love language is quality time, I actually find it rude when I’m catching up with someone and they’re distracted by their phone. It makes me think, ‘that used to be me’.
When we’re consumed by social media, we’re not able to be fully present with the people that we’re in the real moment. I think that’s sad. Social media helps us stay connected to people from all over the planet, but are we connected to and present with those sitting across the table from us, or those we live share a house / bed with??
Do I miss it?
Overall, no.
I do miss seeing updates from close friends and posts from my few favourite accounts that used to inspire and uplift me, and I do miss the creative outlet, but for me I just don’t think the distracting and addictive nature is worth it.
Has my business been affected?
It’s hard to say, because around the time I quit social media I also decided to take a step back from my business in order to focus on working in my partner’s business.
At the time of writing this, I do feel a little niggle to start offering my services again soon, alas I’m not sure what looks like yet. If / when it comes to that, I think my approach to marketing will be very organic, meaning that I will be nurturing my mailing list and posting on Pinterest, and linking people to my blogs.
Who knows, I may come back to social media one day, but if / when I do, my relationship with it will never be the same. That goes for my relationship to marketing as well. I now understand the importance of doing what feels aligned with your own values, vs what the ‘experts’ and trends say to do.
Back to basics
So now the best way to stay in touch is to join my good old fashion mailing list. My list is where I share my writings, insights, inspirations and updates about my life’s journey, through a more intimate form of writing. I love to write, so this feels really nourishing for me and until something changes, that’s where you can find me.
Overall, I quit because the decision felt right for me and this doesn’t mean that quitting social media altogether is right or you. If you’re not happy with your relationship with social media, you could take regular breaks, minimise your usage, experiment with quitting, or perhaps delete the apps off your phone and just check the platforms on your computer when you consciously choose to. I encourage you to work out what works best for you.
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