My Spiral Journey - Level 2

CREATIVITY

THEMES: tribe | belonging | procrastination | sabotage | emotion

CHAKRA: sacral

EMOTIONS: fear | grief | paralysed will

Hey Beautiful, welcome back to part two of this blog series where I’m documenting my own personal experience of journeying through The Spiral, for a third time. If you missed part one, go back to read my overall intention for going through The Spiral again, and if you’re wondering “WTF is The Spiral?", you can read more about it here.

On 6th July I had my second session, Level Two of The Spiral. The overarching theme for level 2 is creativity and the focus is to release fear and increase proactivity.

LEVEL TWO INTENTION

To connect with my creativity and pleasure.

WHAT I CLEARED

On each level of The Spiral we ‘root clear’ 3 emotions. On level two we clear: fear, grief and paralysed will. When I say ‘clear’ it means that we are clearing our relationship to each of these emotions. We are NOT removing these emotions from our human experience. For each root clear (eg fear) we identified the 3 most important emotions that I anchored to each emotion being cleared.

So for me this looked like:

Fear:

Age: 2 Emotion: Spite

Age: 5 Emotion: Spite

Age: 8 Emotion: Frustration

Grief:

Age: 2 Emotion: Vulnerability

Age: 7 Emotion: Vulnerability

Age: 10 Emotion: Vulnerability

Paralysed Will:

Age: 2 Emotion: Shame

Age: 5 Emotion: Shame

Age: 8 Emotion: Spite

INTEGRATION

At the end of a session, we set actions to help integrate the clearing that has taken place during the session. My actions were to:

• practice self pleasure and sensual dance

• Write a blog sharing my experience of The Spiral

• Surprise date with my partner Brendan

OBSERVATIONS

What events took place throughout this level (ie the week between level two and level three)?

• A lot of shame around my finances

• I’ve been stuck in a state of fear and anxiety most of my life

• I fell into bad habits, such as eating shit food and watching lots of tv as a distraction from feeling / getting honest with myself

• Wanting to be creative, but not doing anything about it

• I did visit the Brett Whiteley studio on the weekend which made me feel inspired

What emotions did I experience while moving through this level?

• Fear, anxiety and hopelessness about the future, questioning myself ‘when will I be good enough?’

• Shame around where I’m currently at in life, business and finances, and feeling I ‘should’ be further ahead

• I noticed some old patterns, thoughts, and beliefs being stubborn and this sense of paralysed will - feeling stuck in my victim mentality

• Regret about past choices like not trying harder in my business and not being more responsible with money

REALISATIONS

What insights about fear came up for me?

• I want to experience deeper connections and intimacy in my relationships, but I’m also scared of it at the same time. I think this ties in with the vulnerability that came up around grief. I’m scared to be vulnerable and lose people. Therefore, I keep to myself a lot, because I’m scared of being rejected. 

• Over the years I’ve busied myself with my business, as a way of distracting myself from connecting with others. I’m realising now how important connection is in order for one to be successful in business.

• I really want a sense of belonging and want to feel valued by others, because I didn't feel that as a child. It’s time to start giving myself more love and validation!

• I realise I’m stuck in anxiety a lot, I tend to think of the worst that could go wrong.

• I’m the one who’s holding myself back and I do this a lot. I’d love to blame it on someone else, but honestly, it’s me doing it to myself with my own limiting beliefs.

Stay tuned for the next blog: My Spiral Journey - Level 3. The overarching theme for level three is power and the focus is to release anger and increase self-confidence.

If you have any questions about anything I’ve mentioned, please reach out. I’d love to connect. You can send me a DM on instagram or an email to hello@jaynemartin.com.

If you’re interested in going through The Spiral, or curious about how this work could support you to feel worthy and deserving of your desires, so that you can finally live your purpose (and get paid well for it), you can read more about my program Bloom and if it’s something you feel drawn to, book in a free Meet and Greet. I’d love to chat about what you’re wanting to release and create for yourself, and see if my program Bloom can support you with that. x